Friday, March 28, 2014
Sting wrote: "men go crazy in congregations, they only get better one by one".
The line comes from the song "All This Time" which is about a son who wants to bury his father at sea instead of the traditional burial in the ground which is prescribed by his childhood religion. The conflict between the current desires of our hearts and the traditions of our upbringing can be stark.
I've been on the 'one' side of the scale for the last three weeks and I'm wondering... am I better?
The thoughts I've written in this journal are not those I learned from in my childhood. I've come to these ideas over the last decade and embraced them in spurts. However, embracing new points of view requires setting aside the old ones which, depending on the depth to which those old points of view are ingrained in our being, can feel like suicide or at the very least an ectomy of sorts. But I think that's just what I've needed. I can't be 'me' while living to someone else's rules and I don't always have the strength to live by my own rules while enduring the onslaught of societal pressures.
This trip has allowed me to gain a measure of distance from my congregation and given me the opportunity to 'get better', if only marginally and momentarily. Right now I feel independently 'me', and if nothing else comes of this adventure, that alone makes it all worthwhile.